What will it take to get you to change?

Read an article a few months ago with some statistical data around behavioral change. The stats shocked me - these statistics couldn't be right, I recall having a conversation with a work colleague around it as we discussed coaching and how difficult it is sometimes to bring lasting change with individuals. I went on to do a little googling and wiki-ing and read a fantastic book "Change or Die" to learn more. The information was about why people have a hard time changing habits, even in the face of death. Imagine a Doctor had 1000 patients - each with a smorgasboard of unhealthy habits ranging from too much sodium, cholesterol, stress, smoking, drinking, acidity, etc. They were each on the brink of clogged arteries and probably bypass surgery. The facts were clear - all 1000 of you will die very soon if you do not change. And the answer seemed simple - stop the horrible eating, quit smoking, exercise more - even LITTLE bits of exercise, anything to get that blood oxygenated again, take a multivitamin and drink more water - you know, really simple small steps. I hope by now you are as frustrated as I am and thinking "Well duh!! Just change! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!" According to the stats... only 100 of them will actually change. Yes... 90 percent of people - EVEN WHEN GIVEN THE ULTIMATUM to CHANGE OR DIE.... they choose death. Even up to the final days after several similar surgeries. 90 percent... staggering. Similar statistics are presented in the book "Change or Die" - another talks about how after being released from maximum security prison, inmates were likely to repeat offend and land back in the clink. 9 out of 10 - same stats. Even after counting the days to freedom and regretting choices for 10 - 20 years... they would simply come back after having all that time to change. Hardwired sociopaths and psychopaths may make up for a good portion of this stat, but you get my drift.

As a Coach, a life coach, a fitness coach, an executive coach, or a Coachee, whatever you may be - understanding that change is not easy is a fact that we cannot take lightly. Powerful subconscious forces work to resist change -and they are more powerful in the deeply entrenched areas of your life. Even when we are given the right information from the most credible sources and now have the responsibility to make the right choice, we will likely not do so. And we have known this for a long time. Plato called this "Akrasia" and philosopher's have argued over the concept for ages. The question was asked a long time ago - if we one judges action A to be the best course of action, why would one choose anything other than A?? Its not as baffling as one would think, though, and we are not doomed by any stretch of the imagination. We have always had and always will have access to the most powerful motivator out there, the tool that brings action and pulls us closer to the goal that we did indeed judge as better for our lives: Positive thinking. Even if you dont believe me, whats the alternative? Negative thinking? How did that go for the heart patients? We don't work well with fear. Imagine sitting there thinking about how you will die soon, how this is the end - everything the doctor told you is awful news about your untimely demise on the horizon. You sweat, you feel knots in your stomach and heart beating faster. You are physiologically responding to a negative thought. Your powerful subconscious will act quickly to break this state and bring you back to a droning existance of ignorance. Hard facts become opinions in your mind or are altogether deleted in the humdrum of habitual living and before long, you don't even remember being told you will die, it seems like a subjective memory now. I don't want to dwell on the heart patients - its not something we can all relate too and I certainly hope I will never have to but the information sure re-enforces how dwelling on negative outcomes has very little chance of motivating you to act.

As a coach - my learnings from this is to constantly remind myself in my coaching dialogues to avoid picturing consequences and remain focused on positive outcomes. As a Surgeon or doctor who has spent most of their lives understanding everything about health - I'm sure its natural to "look down" on those making unhealthy choices, and believe that asserting their higher position with facts and consequences seems the most logical way to get them to act. I am a smart doctor, you a dumb unhealthy person - it would be wise to listen to me or you are going to die. I'm not saying all doctors are like this - in fact I recommend you read "change or die" - there was a doctor who went against the grain with a new approach to heart disease patients using positive outcome thinking - and he reversed the stats! And there is also a program for inmates I mentioned that reversed that stat as well! Check it out - its great proof of positive thinking. I dont want to steal the author's thunder, though - so I'll leave it to you.

In small chunks of life, or in the grand scheme of things - centering yourself on positive outcomes has an immediate effect of positive action. The journey to positive goals and outcomes has to be real though, as overly lofty and unspecific destinations is a good way to get someone lost and even worse off than before. NLP teaches to visualize the goal, stand in its experience, breath its air and touch its existance, let the motivation bubble up inside you as you enjoy momentary future experiences - and the more real you make it, the more powerful your actions will be as you head in that direction. I'm going to try a little exercise of my own, taking notes of some of my thoughts I have throughout the day and try to determine how they are motivating me - dissect my subconscious programming a bit.