Sunday, September 11, 2011

From Thought to Destiny



"Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny."

Author unknown


I remember when I took NLP training from Steve Boyley ( nlpmind.com) - a few years ago and we were talking about the power of thought and internal dialogue and how it can literally shape your state. He went on to tell us how when he wakes up in the morning he puts a massive grin on his face and has this voice that he has fine tuned to the loudest possible internal volume with the happiest, most excited tone and literally screams to himself inside his mind something like "GOOD MORNING! WHAT A FANTASTIC DAY! I AM SO LUCKY TO WAKE TO THIS MARVELOUSLY BEAUTIFUL DAY! I FEEL ALIVE, I FEEL ENERGIZED, I FEEL AMAZING!!" And I remember thinking.... "Good lord...now THAT is cheesy".... I could think of days where you could hold up a megaphone into my ear and do the exact same thing and I wouldn't wake up, I'd get up and punch you in the face then go back to sleep. But.... then I tried it. And I gave it a sincere attempt too, I really had a long chat with myself and made sure that I believed it would work, and holy shit does it ever! And the funny thing is, its because every other day prior to this little epiphany, I wake up and my dialogue went more like this. "Morning already? Damnit.... did I even sleep? I feel so tired. I need coffee." My first thoughts of the day were I AM TIRED - well guess what? I FELT TIRED. I know what you are thinking - "well - you probably WERE tired. Hmmm, I don't know about this blog, sounds like he's off his nut" Well... be careful, because if you're thinking that, then you've already begun to put yourself in a state that doubts anything else I am about to write aren't ya? Oh, what a trickster... but I'm only half kidding! We really do CONSTANTLY shift states as our thoughts and self talk run amuck inside our minds! Surely you have heard someone say to you before "I'm exhausted just thinking about it!" Thats TRUE! You can biochemically respond to having physically exhausting thoughts and begin to "feel" exhausted. There was a scene in the movie "The Secret" where it they had some Olympic Athletes hooked up to a monitor and even tough they were "visuallzing" an upcoming event - their brain showed that it was communicating with and firing up the same muscles as if they were in that event.


If the poem is true, and I think that it is, then our destiny begins with a thought, and that thought could be an audacious, thundering assertion, or a careless whisper in the mind. The law of attraction and "The Secret" present a similar notion "Think it and command the universe to make it so", and in doing so it takes the guess work out of what happens in between. The irony of "The Secret" is that this very concept probably contends for the most repeated and quoted philosophical, psychological and scientific theory out there. It is no secret - it's more like "The Tragedy", because its tragic how well acquainted we all are with this, yet choose not to command its power. No matter what it is called, it works, it really does. Even by doubting it, it proves that it works!


I have a hard time with such fluffy notions and still think that there's a lot of "hoopla" in "The Secret" - but I cant argue with the power that thoughts have and how its incredible how they manifest. I was in Steve's NLP class and I can was having a hard time with an exercise because I realized that even though I was speaking and following instruction, my thoughts were all voices of doubt. I was not congruent so I would never realize the effectiveness of the tool until I actually matched up my thoughts. It was the switch that made the exercise work - I was astounded and still continue to be when I repeat it. Again, though, I'm too scientific to take anything at face value, I must know what is happening! How can a thought actually come to create one's reality? How can changing your mind actually change your life? It had to be answered. I wish my next sentence would go on to explain that I know exactly how, not so, but I certainly feel a lot closer, and made me wish that I could go back in time and add a lot more Biochemistry to my studies. Thinking, as it turns out, actually creates a physiological response, a feeling, an emotion. The more authority your mind's voice has, the stronger the response. It works for and against you!


The easiest to explain and easiest to understand this physiological response is the stress response - as illustrated above. I was sitting in my backyard the other day, enjoying the solitude, the still and sunny day when a thought entered my mind "Oh my God! It is Sunday! I need to make sure I reply to all of my work emails tonight and plan for my conference calls tomorrow. I haven't thought about what our priorities will be next week, I should have done that. I will rush it now and it won't be an effective strategy. Ah... crap, speaking of Monday, I have an appointment - shit... what time is it at? I should check my planner. I did write it down right? I hope I did... God I'm so bad at that I need to get more organized. My planner is too bulky to lug around I cant expect to whip it open every second of the day at a moments notice?" The thoughts just fed each other and it was as if it was a roller coaster building unstoppable momentum, getting louder and faster! I then I hear my daughter calling my name is if it was the third time and I wasn't paying attention and I turn around with a loud impatient voice and reply "WHAT???"... the adrenaline must have added volume and intensity into my voice. After snapping out of it, I compose myself with a thought about how that is my beautiful little girl and I am a good father. Work can wait, I need to calm down and focus on her. And I apologized, my voice now much softer and my eyes I'm sure looked loving because I could see the expression slowly begin to reflect back at me from her face.

The escalating thoughts of work created stress. Our minds and bodies have evolved over the course of 40 million years. Today's complex reasons and causes for stress are only a couple of hundred years old, so stress is stress and when it happens - we are ready to fight or flight, just like our ancestors might have done when they heard the roar of a sabretooth tiger coming around the corner! My voice was loud and intense because I was in a state of hyper alertness. As I thought - I visualized, my brain saw the thought (for some you may hear it more so than seeing it, depends on primary sense, etc) which caused a signal to be sent to my adrenal glands, which in turn produced adrenaline - and just like that, I have adrenaline pumping through my veins. I am now stronger, faster, louder, and ready to fight or run. My ability to control my thoughts has been altered because I will tend to think with such intensity which only further signals stress and alarm. It took great conscious self awareness as forced myself to break state and think about my daughter and tried to reason with the beast that was just summoned. And because I did this, the right cocktail of serotonin and dopamine was ordered up by the transmission sent by my thought. This then caused me to feel more relaxed, happier and focused, allowing these thoughts to further occur more naturally, thereby bringing more peaceful congruence to the interaction with my little girl. Basically.... you have a pharmacist in your body that can whip up the right cocktail of perfectly balanced chemicals for the occasion to prepare your body to feel and align with your thoughts. That is freaking cool.

Have you ever "been on a roll"? Where you suddenly feel that victory is at hand and you just keep getting better? When you know exactly what the goal is, and you feel yourself coming close to the victory lap of attaining the goal, you actually signal a strong dose of dopamine. This perfectly measured blend of victory juice is just enough to increase your strength, focus, among other "winning" attributes to seal the deal and reap the reward. As you think and shout " I DID IT! I DID IT! I WON!!" you summon even more of the good stuff, which sets your pleasure centre on fire! You feel SO GOOD! In FACT, if you were in a prize fight and were seriously injured while winning, it EVEN BLOCKS the pain! To make things even crazier, this victorious elation comes with a big does of adrenaline too, to get you ready to DO IT AGAIN! Its truly remarkable how we developed language to literally create commands that set into motion these symphony's of chemistry within our bodies. This winning chemistry is what athletes crave. Once they reach this biochemical state its almost impossible to stop them because not only are their bodies and minds responding accordingly to the thought "I am winning!" but their opponent is also starting to respond to the thought "I am losing!".

When you want to bring about change in your life, or when you are coaching someone else and helping them to bring about change, this concept of thoughts into actions is critical. You're in for an incredibly uphill battle when you set out on your journey to your outcome, forcing an action against a thought. Not even the best liar in the world can make his body work against his thoughts. Do you remember when Clinton stood there and said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"? His thoughts were "Yes I did!" and the body takes orders from the mind, not the mouth, and sure enough he looked and sounded as guilty as ever. I have loudly declared that "I'm going to clean this house!!" many times, but I was thinking " I really don't want to..." Sure enough, wouldn't you know it? Something came up and I didn't get round to it. Thoughts are the most powerful force in the world, and they are ours to command.










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